Did you know that according to Psychology Today,  “In the 19th century, Jean-Etienne Esquirol, an eminent psychiatrist and physician-in-chief at the Salpêtrière Hospital in Paris, declared in his classification of mental disorders (1838) that masturbation is ‘recognized in all countries as a cause of insanity.”  In the same article, the mental classification was only changed in 1968!  The article then explains there are “benefits” to masturbation.  Does anyone else see propaganda here?  There are few real benefits to masturbation especially while in a relationship.  This newfound idea in 1968 is false and most likely a movement towards preventing pregnancy or STDs in young people.

Whatever you do DO NOT marry a male masturbator (a.k.a the frog always on the toilet), because marriage is a union that is created for sexual intimacy, societal constructs, family and commitment.  If any of those four are not in a person’s plan, marriage simply is not for them and they may not even know it.

First and foremost, let’s dive into what a masturbator is.  It is not simply a person who masturbates.  It is so much more (10 years of experience with one). A masturbator masturbates frequently.  Masturbating is not an occasional occurrence that only happens when he cannot get satisfaction from his wife.  A masturbator typically learned to masturbate in his teens or earlier and it is part of his existence and something he engages in at least twice per week whether he is sexually active or not.  That means he regularly engaged in the practice before he met his sexual partner.  A female needs to be very careful of this type of male (females masturbate too; however, commenting on female masturbators is speculation without backing at least in this write-up); because, he appears like the perfect catch and preys upon religious or women of propriety (he assumes these women want less sex and typically are more submissive than the average).

A male masturbator will also be very respectful with sexual boundaries, because they will masturbate before an encounter with a woman or after an encounter with a woman (without fail).  Masturbators do not have self-control, they have “sex alternatives.”  Masturbators like using sex to manipulate their partner.  They use sex to punish their partner and they use sex to shame their partner.  A masturbator IS NOT someone who masturbates occasionally (let’s say roughly 12 times per year give or take 5), but I repeat someone who masturbates regularly is a “masturbator.”  Now that we are on the same page with what a “masturbator” is, let’s dive into why you do not marry a masturbator.

Now let’s get into the heart of the matter, you do not marry a masturbator because marriage was created for sexual intimacy.  Since the beginning of time marriage was created for a man and a woman to have monogamous sex.

A male masturbator will be happy with sex once a week and may even say sex is not important in a marriage.

Throughout history the definition of marriage has swayed from here to there because of cultural shifts; however, do not be fooled.  The original marriage construct is the most fulfilling no matter what people say and things only change to make people feel better about their habits or to prevent judgments.  It is amazing how deviancy is accepted the more widely people are convinced deviancy is normal. If you desire sexual intimacy in marriage you will not have sexual intimacy if you marry a masturbator.  A masturbator is a self-trained pleasure seeker.  The years and years of programming in place cannot be undone merely from a love encounter.  Additionally, a masturbator will be addicted to pornography on some level.

In a masturbator relationship, the other person is ALWAYS replaceable by masturbation and pornography.

This is also why it is impossible for a masturbator to be vulnerable and let himself need you.  It is a way for him to have COMPLETE CONTROL.  Someone that cannot be vulnerable will not fulfill the marriage vows in the sex department.  If he is upset, he will withhold sex.  If he wants to drive you crazy he will withhold sex.  If he wants to tout his dominance in the marriage, he will withhold sex.  While all along he will not withhold sex from himself. You heard the WARNING here first, because no one else seems to talk about it.

Do not marry a masturbator, because marriage was created for societal constructs not for “show.”   What does this mean exactly?  A societal construct helps people thrive in community, because everyone lends a helping hand especially when there are children.  A masturbator’s number one concern is HIMSELF.  Masturbators like to look good and most likely all are narcissists. Someone who is selfish above all things like the masturbator is incapable of fulfilling the responsibility that a societal construct requires.  They like to look like they are doing work, but they do not actually enjoy doing the work.  If they are working, their internal dialogue is constant grumbling (text messaging, behavioral analysis & response, emails…  are all a good way to measure internal dialogue projections).  They will grumble and they will feel like they are being made to do whatever they are doing.  It could be as simple as washing the dishes for the family or something more time consuming like participating in community events.  A negative internal dialogue is detrimental to marriage and will most definitely occur when societal construct responsibilities surface during the relationship with a masturbator.

Do not marry a masturbator, because marriage was created for family.  Family can include children or not.  Family means the family unit comes first before people outside the family unit.  This is a fundamental quality in someone that is good marriage material, they put immediate family before all others to secure the bond, build trust and keep things stable.  A male masturbator does not put family first.  The foundation of this person’s makeup is himself and then next his is extended family; so self-preservation is priority number one!  If the masturbator is making waves at home, he will disappear, he will vent to others and he will make sure that others are on his side by embellishing stories or making things up from scratch.  It all ties in with masturbation (sex by yourself), because sex is the bond between husband and wife and without it that bond is non-existent especially if there is no physical impairment preventing sex other than masturbation.  Masturbation helps minimize any conscience he has, because he is king of the hill and no one else really matters (the physical bond is replaceable). This type of behavior is not productive or loving in a marriage.  This type of behavior is a perfect storm for divorce or an unhappy sexless marriage.

Do not marry a masturbator, because marriage was created for commitment.  Once a masturbator has secured his catch or mate, there is less challenge and mystery.  Throw in children and voilà; this immediately gives the masturbator reason to replace the missing spice with his wife with other relationships.  It could be co-workers or friends but getting away from his wife appears to be the answer to all his problems and he can physically do so for some time, because he masturbates and basically does not need her.  A masturbator will always resort to masturbating if he has struggles in any area of his life.  Masturbating is a coping mechanism.  His commitment on his wedding day is long forgotten.  In sickness and in health, becomes trivial and intimacy with his wife is labeled “just sex” in his brain.  Commitment in the long-term has no meaning to a masturbator, because the only bond he is comfortable having is the bond with himself (me, myself & I).

Do not settle for a masturbator’s excuses like convenience, arousal, endurance or better sleep.  No wife can compete with a pro male masturbator, why?  A wife has less practice and cannot comprehensibly know how to arouse her husband the same way he knows how to arouse himself.  In a masturbator’s world, sex has always been an isolated event and the programming in place is practically impossible to re-circuit without the masturbator being fully on board.  Whatever you do, do not marry a masturbator.  Ladies, staying away from these men in marriage will save you from a lot of heartache and discontent.  Ask the right questions during the courtship and/or friendship, because long-lasting marriage includes, sexual intimacy, societal constructs, family and commitment. Make sure your future husband has the qualities for the duration, not just for the first mile.