Dating After Divorce – 5 Reasons for Matchmaking

Full disclosure, once the divorce was final on this side of town the first thing on the to-do list was dating apps!  Hurt was overwhelming the senses for so long – YEARS – (hurt caused by the one person vulnerability once seemed easy with, the father of my children, the person labeled ‘soulmate’); so in order to gain some confidence dating seemed like the right choice. Online dating didn’t exist in my prime, so why not try it now?  Diving in was not an option since the kids come first ALWAYS, so tip-toeing was the only stepping on the agenda.  Out of all the apps and websites I could have tried, guess which ones made the cut?  Definitely not Tinder, not Match, not Bumble, not OkCupid

I’ll let you keep guessing. It’s not important.  What is important is the conclusion online dating is not for everyone and quickly that statement rang true for moi.  Yes, the 6 month prospect was handsome, engaging and fun, but I NEVER felt comfortable introducing him to the kids.  Today folks I came across a marvelous dating idea, it is called Tawkify.

There are several interviews on Tawkify that come from men who were divorced (digging was necessary of course to find these spotlight interviews that gave the 411 male perspective).  Tawkify, please facilitate more of these interviews!!! One eligible bachelor  did not disclose the reason for his divorce and the other eligible bachelor did disclose the reason for his divorce.  Nonetheless, using a matchmaker makes so much sense to me (whether that matchmaker be family, friends or a data relationship business)!  This rediscovery of matchmaking is fresh off the press in my little world, so of course there is nothing in the works at this point for me with a matchmaker, but here is the immediate top 5 reasons why Tawkify or matchmaking seems like the best thing since chocolate met peanut-butter in a Reese’s.

#1 Authenticity

Dating is superficial and temporary.  The stakes are too high.  There’s too much pressure and not enough exits.  Someone is always trying to make the connection work, so the date is not a bust or a complete failure.  Matchmaking seems like a more authentic experience.  It combines data, interpersonal relationships and a third party which is totally subjective.

#2 Commitment

Hiring a matchmaker in theory means someone is more committed to finding a mate and less interested in comparison shopping.  In the digital age, comparison is the greatest hindrance to finding the one.  If you have a roving eye, keep roving – please do not waste the precious time of loyal people looking for a life partner.

#3 Idea Sharing

Divorce means you’ve been off the market for awhile and you feel like a fish out of water in the dating world.  Having a matchmaker or someone committed to finding you “the one” seems so much more friendly than embarking on the hunt all by your lonesome.  This matchmaker can be an excellent source of ideas and feedback (in theory) – remember execution of an idea is only as good as the one running the show, so be sure your matchmaker is the right one.

#4 Connection

Tawkify matchmakers leverage their own contacts to find matches.  This third party social proof is very valuable in finding a connection.  Essentially you already have a witness to this person’s life, plus the matchmaker acts as an automatic liaison which provides additional intelligence on the dating situation that you wouldn’t otherwise be privy to.  In my lowly opinion, these facts should in theory increase the chance of connection.

#5 Chemistry

Chemistry cannot be manufactured.  The instant attraction that makes conversation endless is chemistry.  Chemistry is really difficult to have via a dating app venture.  It’s difficult because there are no pheromones involved and who wants a relationship with a screen conduit?  Only the people who watch porn frequently, that’s who. In theory, with a matchmaker at the helm there should be more of a chance for chemistry since the meeting is in person first rather than on a screen (don’t let COVID-19 scare you).  These days though, chemistry virtually and in person is almost equally important.

There’s something about authenticity, commitment, idea sharing, connection and chemistry that resonates with matchmaking, but fails miserably with dating apps/websites.  If you agree and have the time to try Tawkify, please send a message with a tell-all about your experience.  I need some outsider social proof to validate these theories and test the matchmaking waters!  Remember whenever you attempt relationship building on a romantic level, traditional courtesies still apply.

Author: fyidivorce

Hello! You can call me the Straight Shooter. Too many divorce resources come from a family law perspective; my goal is to provide divorce tips with no sugarcoating. I've chosen Straight Shooter as my alias to keep things on topic and define my tone in all posts and comments. Looking forward to open dialogue about divorce.

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