Circling back through the divorce memories, reveals how unbelievable it truly is. Divorce is an unknown entity by practically half the population. Every divorce is unique and every divorce shatters relationships like removing a glass card from the glass house of cards. If people knew better, they would divorce online, or they would use mediation. Litigation requires deep pockets and although it looks official to the untrained eye; it is a theatrical play of attorneys playing puppeteer. In fact, it could be described as the ultimate revenge tool. Not only is it a revenge tool used by angry spouses, but it most likely is a revenge tool used by rich people as well, people who are not even directly involved in the relationship (this trajectory could develop into a story all on its own). Oh, the tangled web just keeps getting more complicated. Only certain people decide to litigate.
People who file for divorce and choose the litigation route can be defined as the following:
1. They have no idea what they are doing or they know the system intimately and choose to use the system for its many pain inflicting levers
2. They want their way no matter what
3. They are impulsive
4. They lack compassion
5. They have secrets they want to protect
6. They are not communicators
7. They do not care about the best interests of the children
8. They will be manipulated by the system whether they know it or not
9. They will use the system to punish their spouse
10. They will try to use every tactic they can to screw over the other spouse, to the extent of submitting false coerced testimony
Understanding divorce is somewhat corrupting in nature. Innocence and ignorance is a blissful state that has long since died by going through the divorce process (which actually starts the moment the petitioner starts talking with attorneys) – consumers beware. It is disheartening that the American government does not value its citizens enough to modify and/or do away with the litigation system that is in place.
If you have a heart, do not litigate.
If you have a soul, go to counseling consistently for at least 6 months (don’t settle on a counselor that only one of you likes, find one that is a good fit for both of you).
If you must divorce, do your research and put your broken family first as much as possible.